A little more about blogging

Today, I am going to share a little about me and my reasons for starting this blog.

I enjoy reading. I try to read a lot, but with small kids it can be difficult. Lately I have been reading a lot of parenting or self-help/motivational books and articles. I also enjoy reading SELF Magazine and Health Magazine.

An article I came across recently in SELF really made me think. You can check it out here. While I don't really relate with the author about being an awkward child with no friends, I can definitely relate to her feelings as an adult. She talks about how people will often portray themselves differently on Facebook or Twitter than they are in real life. Maybe this is how they truly want to be, who knows... People are also able to "carefully edit" themselves before posting, or go around as a "Facebook 'lurker,' looking but not speaking, withholding [their] opinion because [they're] worried what others will say."

Most of the time this is how I feel. I "lurk" on Facebook and don't share my comments or opinions. I hardly even "like" things. Blogging is totally out of my comfort zone. I prefer to stay at a safe distance and not share my thoughts and feelings with many because I worry they probably won't like me. Although I do know that I need friends, I would say I have maybe a handful of close friends and at times I even feel like I edit myself with them.

I don't really know when this all started. I'm sure it is just ingrained in my DNA, but because of my small town upbringing it didn't really show itself until I was a teenager. Or maybe when I went off to college. Growing up in a small town was nice, but it rarely pushed me out of my comfort zone. In college and later I found out I am quite an introvert. (ISTJ really, and you can read about that here.) I also have quite a bit of social anxiety. I don't think many people know that about me, because I am generally calm and quiet and don't make a fuss.

Oh how I wish I was an extrovert. And how I wish I didn't care so much what others think. I am sure that this is something that many others struggle with as well.

Well, I'm blogging to try and break the cycle. I don't feel like I am very inspirational most times and my words are not eloquent. But it's hard for people to reach out and love you if you don't ever share yourself with them. I really think we are all going through difficult things in life. Each of us has our own struggles. And it is really my belief that we should support each other and not tear each other down.